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And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love if it does NOT exist
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 Hear thee.
I'm sixteen, but definitely not sweet. Currently facing (and loathing) my freshman college life as an AB Broadcast Journalism student. I have a tendency to be lost in my imaginations and daydreams. I'm sarcastic. I cuss. I'm moody. I have my fair share of complexities - though I sometimes think I got too many. Likes: Books, Country and Punk Rock music, Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy, Red, 19th century era, Chace Crawford, Jacob Black, trivias, chocolates Dislikes: Slow and sentimental songs, Harry Potter, Bella Swan, predictable telenovelas here in the Philippines, Justin Bieber, Math, Any kind of sports, K-Pop I don't know what I want. So don't ask me coz I'm still trying to figure it out. Say What?
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April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 Credits
©Glamouresque. |
Friday, February 5, 2010
POOHTENGEENUH Comments: 0 comments | Leave a Comment
I need tranquility. I need it badly.Life for me sure sucks like hell right now. I hate school. I hate Algebra - THE MOST DAMNED SUBJECT IN MY LIFE. T.T I hate everyone at our school. I hate our professors. I hate her. I hate everything that's happening right now! Why can't it just be peaceful? I suddenly missed high school. Life was way cooler that time. No inconsiderate professors. No shithead classmates. No stupid hard projects and researches. :( Gaaahhh I wanna go to high school again. College is not fun the way I expected it. I am sorry if I'm childish like this but I just need to rant right now. I need a break. I want to go somewhere wherein I can relax and just chill. I'm sure everyone in my situation would like that. I just want to burst into tears right now. Labels: confused, dramas, emo, plain sadness, rants, weird Thursday, January 7, 2010
ANOBANAMANYAN Comments: 0 comments | Leave a Comment
I think I'm gonna fail. No. I don't want to. God, please have mercy on me. Let it be. LET IT BE. Totally unrelated: Someone sent her sipon virus to me. Itago na lang natin sa namesung na "Mama". Labels: blah blahs, dramas, rants Thursday, December 17, 2009
I get so weak. Comments: 2 comments | Leave a Comment
I totally know what my weaknesses are! (in terms of writing, I mean) Titles and Endings. Well, for most of you people, beginnings are most likely to be hard whenever you're writing an essay or a blog post, more likely. I don't know. These has been my problem since I was a kid and it's just recently when I discovered these weaknesses. I'm always thinking of a creative title or ending and always, it ends up as something shallow or not too attractive. Hell. So maybe I should practice this more often. Oh and by the way...It's... 1. three days before my Prelim exam and... 2. fourteen days before New Year. Note: Christmas is not that relevant to me since we don't celebrate that in our religion. :) Anyway, WHERE DID ALL THOSE FREAKING MONTHS GO?!?!? :O I CANNOT believe it has been 11months and 17 days! I mean, has it really been that long? 2009 flew by so fast that I can't even remember what significant things happened in each month. And now it's New Year. Another New Year with Papa not around. :( Hey, don't misinterpret this! He's just in California, okay? :) I seriously have a problem... NO, war I mean.. with College Algebra right now. You are all free to laugh at me you freakin' Math geniuses. I know I suck at Math and I'm not afraid to say that because hey, we're humans. And we all have weaknesses. Referring to the topic, yes I do find College Algebra difficult. And I loathe it. Why does it have to be that way? Do I think differently from the others? Maybe when God showered Math-empowered-genes I was at home taking a bath and when I got out, they are all gone. WTF. This is why I took up a non-Math course and it turns out I can't escape hell after all. It's always right behind me, waiting for a chance to envelope me in its full darkness and bring me to the inner depths of hell. And now I sound stupid. Labels: blah blahs, dramas, rants, school, weird Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Goodbye to you my trusted friend Comments: 1 comments | Leave a Comment
Dear Diary,I don't know if I should call this day as Doomsday. I mean, I should be happy right? But I can't really feel it. Our separation gave me mixed feelings - sadness and happiness. I've been with her for three years. I've been a witness to her mood-swings. I'm the only one who comforts her everytime she's down, and I'm always there to rejoice with her whenever she's happy. During the first year of us being together, I saw her holding me while she's wishing for her crush to text her. And I was there, praying with her. It was the happiest moment of my life. At last, I felt how being a friend means. During those times, I felt like I was her bestfriend. But that was before... I've been usually unhappy. Being kept in a storage cabinet is a big deal, you see. I loathed the four-cornered box I was kept in. I want to breathe. I'm sick of my life back then. Until a wide-eyed girl with eyeglasses gave me what I want. Freedom, at last. I first saw her with tears in her eyes. Apparently, the reason was her mother kept insisting to buy a cellphone somewhere else. And the wide-eyed kid wants me. How touching, right? I've seen those teary eyes turn bright when she touched me - for the first time. I don't know if she had seen me smile, but I definitely did. I'm grateful to her because she took my loneliness away. We shared a lot of happy and sad moments since then. She took a lot of pictures using me. Aaahhh you'll never know how it feels to have your owner smile back at you! She didn't let me look like a trash of course. She bought lots of cellphone holders for me. At that time, I felt like I was the most important thing in her life because she's always looking for me everytime she wakes up, or comes home. She never lets go of me everytime we're together. My first few years with her are very memorable. I'm always happy. Until it changed. I don't know how it all started. One day I woke up and realized she doesn't love me as much as she did before. She started noticing other cellphones - and boy! she wants them. I kept hearing her talking with her sister how she wants a better phone. Those who have 3megapixel cameras and 2GB memory. Of course I don't have features like that. And it hurt me. I want to be the best for her. But she already thinks I'm one of those "losers". She doesn't want me anymore. She doesn't take care of me. She removed the little trinkets she put on me. She started leaving me anywhere. And she let me fall on the floor for so many times. I can feel my body filling up with scratches and dents. And because of that, she hated me even more. Doesn't she know she's the reason why I'm not perfect anymore? Damn that bitch. Not only that, she left me with that stupid charger for hours. Doesn't she know it's bad for my battery? Time came when my battery gave up on her. It looked like it was bloated. And lasted for only a few minutes. She grew angry at me. She throws me everytime she feels frustrated because she's texting someone and I suddenly went dead. I cry even more. What happened to the wide-eyed girl who looked at me with adoration in her eyes? Where was she? Why did she left me with this monster who slowly kills me? Turns out I can't get her back anymore. This monster wants me out of her life. And so she bought another cellphone - the kind she's wishing for so long. I heard her talking to her Mom to find someone who's willing to buy me. This was the saddest moment of my life. I feel betrayed by a bestfriend. And so I'm here. With my new owner. I don't want to look at her eyes. It's not the same wide-eyed ones with eyeglasses. I miss Ehver. You'd think I'm stupid because I still miss her even after those things she did to me. Yes, I'm stupid. I'm still wishing for her to come back and get me. I miss those times when we were still together. Does she miss me too? I wish she does. After all, I'm her first cellphone, right? And I do believe that first love never dies. Yours Truly, Nokia 6020 Labels: blah blahs, dramas, love, rants, weird Friday, October 23, 2009
And a Miley song was on. So I put my hands up. Comments: 1 comments | Leave a Comment
It's been a while since my last post therefore I'm back with a vengeance. Hahaha kiddin'. Sembreak just started and I've finally got nothing to do. Basically, I'm bored. I'm fucking bored. I seriously have a love-hate relationship with sembreaks. Sembreak means no allowance, the inevitable fact that I have to stay at home and bear NOT going out (except for church). And of course not meeting with my friends. Ugh. This is so not cool.Anyway, my sister and I had this dramatic talk last night. Well, I called it dramatic talk since she cried and I got teary-eyed. I won't mention why it all happened but it's some sort of parent-child matters. I hate talking about my problems because I always end up crying. Stupid emotions. I actually cried a few weeks ago while I was talking to my friend and it made me feel so.... weak and stupid and girly. I instantly regretted it because I hate the feeling of being consoled, of being pitied upon. Actually, I prefer keeping my problems to myself than sharing it to others. I just thought, what can they do about it? They will just listen to you but in the end it' ll just be ME with my problems. I know, I'm strange. I guess I'm a loner. That's what our Psychology analysis quiz told about me. I'm not emo or something but I just prefer being alone than being with someone and feel very obligated to talk to her/him. Unless she is someone I really wanted to talk to. I think I might survive with only Untalkative Bunny by my side. Hahaha. Or Ferb. I want to have another ear piercing. That is so cool. Uncool because my parents wouldn't allow me to have it. But who cares?! I'm gonna get it. After all, what can they do if it's on my ear already? Evil laugh. XD I also want to get a rebond. Honestly, my hair looked like some haybale in Farmville and I'm not very fond of it coz it just sucks. I want to have an easy-to-manage hair coz I'm too lazy to comb it from time to time. A rebonded hair would be so easy to deal with. And saves my time at the mirror. I hate to admit this but Miley Cyrus is getting sexier and hotter and sluttier as time goes by. Proof? Miley Cyrus - Party In The USA Music Video I still can't get her racy photos out of my head. Sorry. Those photos are still stored here in my computer. Again, sorry. But it's really funny looking at her trying hard to look hot. Hahaha. Sorry. At least now she's really hot. I can't believe she's just one year older than me. XD "There's a 104 days of Summer Vacation, And school comes along just to end it. So the annual problem for our generation, Is finding a good way to spend it." I think I will just go watch Phineas and Ferb. I miss Dr. Doofenschmirtz and Perry. Labels: blah blahs, dramas, rants, weird Monday, September 7, 2009
We will miss you forever, Ka Erdie. Comments: 0 comments | Leave a Comment
 Eversince I was a child, it has been my dream to meet him, to hold his hand, to let him touch my head - I only see this scenarios through our Iglesia Ni Cristo television channel and through pictures at the Pasugo. I dreamed of attending church with him as the officiating minister. Never did it ever crossed my mind that I won't have a chance to fulfill these dreams anymore. It was Tuesday when we learned about his passing. I was very happy at school - laughing and talking to my friends and then I went home and received the sad news. It was a shock. I can't speak. I just stared at the television - witnessing my numerous INC members crying. It was all too hard to accept. It felt like someone dear and close to me passed away. The thought of him gone, the thought of not being able to see him again teaching the words of God at our churches - it is too hard. I was very determined to see him even for the last moment. And seeing him for the first time - and last - was overwhelming and sad at the same time. I did not realize I was crying, then. I just bowed my head and prayed to God to thank Him for giving Ka Erdie to us. I will be forever grateful to that. Eventhough I did not had the chance of holding his hand, his memory and caring for us will forever be in my heart. I did not mind how long I waited in line just to see him. I did not mind how hungry I became on that particular day. All I can ever think about was just to see him. Whatever we went through when we visited him can never surpass the amount of how he cared for us. "Our church is not Ka EraÑo Manalo's church. It is God's church." We will miss you forever Ka Erdie! Until we all meet again. Labels: dramas, Iglesia Ni Cristo, Ka EraÑo Manalo, love Tuesday, August 11, 2009
It's over and done. Comments: 2 comments | Leave a Comment
"Friends drift apart. It happens. No matter how hard you try to save the friendship, the few years you've been together will just vanish."That quote is posted on my Twitter account. I personally made it because I just felt the need to say it. These past weeks, the sudden realization hit me - I LOST HER. I don't know why. I don't even know when it all started. One day it just occured to me that it's all gone. That everything has changed. That I can't turn back the time that we should be together. I never realized it's all slipping away under my hands with me not even realizing it. I thought, "She's still my bestfriend. We will forever be." I never thought it will be as easy as that. Almost two years of separation - with the cellphone as the only means of communication - made the friendship vanish. What really hurt is I treated her as one of my bestfriends. She treated me like that as well. I don't really open myself up to a lot of people. That's why I only have limited number of friends. And I'm sure that she's one of those people that really knew the "real" me. And yet, she's the one to go. Why do I have to receive Group Messages from her calling somebody as her "bestfriend"? Why does she have to call her stupid new BFF "best" in front of my eyes to see? Maybe it just happens. Labels: confused, dramas, rants Monday, June 29, 2009
Heat and Aircon combined. Comments: 0 comments | Leave a Comment
Im not feeling so well today. :( Well, what I mean is tonight. My body was in a very good condition this morning but things got a little bad when I went to school. This is all because of the stupid heat. Grrr! You know the feeling of being soaked in the Sun's heat for one hour and then went inside an airconditoned room? YEAH, it's refreshing but isn't it bad? I mean, all of your sweat will just be dried up by the aircon. And that's why Im not feeling so well. I have a headache mixed up with a sore throat that feels like hell even just swallowing water. Arrrgghhh! And my legs ache too. Probably because of the long walk from the Admin Building to JFH, which, I might add, is kinda FAR. Thanks to that stupid ID! Why does the Admin Building have to be so far??? I just hope the other Admin they're building (just beside JFH - our college) will finish soon. So that we wont have to walk the long-effing-way! PLEASE God, let this headache/sore throat/leg ache be gone tomorow. I might not be able to survive my 8am to 5pm class feeling like this. :(change topic... Who thought Filipino class can get so FUN?? HAHAHA. Well, IT IS. :) Our Filipino prof is so bubbly and laughs along with out corny jokes, even telling us some funny stories. Too bad she's not our "real" professor. The real one is missing, probably sporting a disease called A(H1n1). HAHA, NO, im joking! :) I dont know where he is, and why the hell he's not appearing in our class for two weeks. Pa-importante ang Lolo mo! HAHA. At talagang pinapalitan pa ang schedule namin, ha?! Ang arte! Kaasar! By the way, our substitute professor told us she had Marian Rivera as her classmate during an Under-Grad class. Well, probably, some of you heard Marian studied at DLSU-D (which Im not proud of because, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?? It's just Marian Rivera, for Pete's sake! The girl that says "Tarantado!" on YouTube. UGH.) Siguro kung si Tom Cruise or Megan Fox pa yun baka sobrang proud ako! HAHAHA. Wait. STOP. Why the hell Im blogging about THAT girl??? Oh well, change topic.. So. I was watching 24 Oras a while ago and there was this news about Michael Jackson and his family planning to do another autopsy. They're gonna examine the prescripted medicines being gave to him. Maybe because they're suspecting that his death might be intentional. OMG that's rude! Im not a fan of him. I dont even like him! What will all the scandals he made and his awfully white skin that really scares me off! But his music will forever live with us. He is a music icon - the King of Pop. And his sudden death at 50 really shocked me! He's too young to die! I mean, for a very wealthy man he is too young to die. You should all get the appropriate nutrients and vitamins because you have so much money to afford it all and then you'll die at 50? Oh well.. Reminds me of the phrase - "You can have all the money in the world but you can NEVER buy health." So TRUE. :) I think I should just go lie down and watch TV. Totoy Bato is currently being shown on GMA-7. Dont raise those eyebrows!!!! Im just too lazy to pick up the remote and find a worthy show to watch. I dont even know why Im here blogging about nonsense stuffs when I should be lying down. Or maybe I shoudl just do my Psychology homework? Man. Im just so damn tired. TOODLES! XOXO, Ehver Sunday, June 28, 2009
Drama Queen much? Comments: 0 comments | Leave a Comment
Let's start this blog entry with the effed up dream of mine, shall we? :) I had so many bad dreams - or should I say, NIGHTMARES - in my life. But this dream last night is the WORST of them all! I got pregnant - IN MY DREAM. Like, OH MY FREAKIN GOD! I never fantasized in my entire life being pregnant! IT'S SO UNCOOL!! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE because Im not the type of girl who will get preggers at a very young age. Im sorry to those girls who already have children of their own, but I think that's stupid. It's like wasting your youth - sacrificing it all for a freakin one-night of unprotected "you know". Im NOT condemning them. I dont even know the reason why they even did IT. Someone told me teenagers do that because they're curious. Or they love their boyfriends/girlfriends so much that they think sex is the only way to prove that they really love each other. Im NOT Little Miss Perfect or whatsoever but hey, I think it's so freakishly wrong to have a baby at a very young age. And to dream about being pregnant..... OMFG! I literally want to scream at the top of my lungs when I woke up this morning!!! Yeah I get it, Iam so overreacting. But WTH, I swear to myself that it's the worst dream of my life!/change topic../ Since I cant sleep last night I went back through my highschool memoirs inside my head. And it turns out every highschool year has its significant part on my life. :) Here it goes... FIRST YEAR HIGHSCHOOL. Aahh the HAPPIEST year of them all! HAHA! :) It was kinda sad in the beginning because I transferred schools, I left my Grade School friends at Marikina to transfer here in Cavite. And to think it was my first highschool year got me oh-so-sad at that point. But unexpectedly, this is where I met my very best friends! Nung una si Sarah lang yung friend ko. And then nadagdag na si Maricho, then Mayet. We even have those friendship names like everyone! M2ES 4EVER. :) LOL. So corny noh. But that name suited us very well. Our names stand for each letter. M - Maricho 2 (repeat M) - Mayet E - Ehver S - Sarah 4 E - Espejo (my surname) V - Verecio E - Evalle R - Recimo O diba? HAHAHA sobraaang meant to be! :) Ang saya-saya talaga ng year na to. This is where I learned to cut class (OMFG!) HAHAHA! FYI, I think I did it for 5 times? I dont even remember the reason why. Haha! But it's those times na hindi important yung lesson. Yun bang attendance lang ang kailangan. Hahaha. Again, I dont remember the reason why I cut class that time. Most of it kasama ko si Sarah - my partner-in-crime! Yung dalawa angelic kaya laging hindi namin kasama. O diba I told you Im no Little Miss Perfect! :) It was this year that I learned what the word "FRIEND" really meant. Sobrang vibes na vibes talaga yung ugali naming apat. Yun bang magkatinginan lang GETS na agad. Tapos tawanan na. Kahit walang words, tinginan lang, pero magkakatawanan na. We can spend hours and hours together and dont even get bored because we dont run out of things to talk with. We all have differences, of course. Pero go with the flow lang. :) That differences is the major reason why we enjoy each other's company. Opposites attract, as they say. :) SECOND YEAR HIGHSCHOOL. Eto yung moment na na-feel ko na girl pala ko! HAHAHA! :) The phase where I experienced my first real CRUSH! Akalain mo yun, akala ko lesbo ako! HAHA! I wont publish his name here, eventhough I know na he wont read this naman. Heehee. For respect ba. Kasi NOBODY knows this talaga. Never ko sinabi kahit kanino. Even my bestfriends, they dont know. But Im saying this now because what's the use of hiding it diba? Past is past. We should all move on. And besides, wala naman ng feelings. OHA showbiz answer mode! LOL. So yeah, "staring from afar" ang drama ko noon. Haha sobrang Maria Clara! What's even funny is he was my classmate back in Kindergarten. And I didn't even took notice! Haha. Oh well.. THIRD YEAR HIGHSCHOOL. First ever major heartbreak! HAHAHA. FYI, crush ulit to. Hindi ko naging boyfriend or whatsoever. Sobrang na-hurt lang kasi masyadong nag-expect. Haaay, that's why I hate expectations. You'll get disappointed lang in the end. HAHAHA sobrang landi mo Ehver! LOL. change topic.. Naging classmate ko ulit si Sarah this year. At ano pa nga bang ieexpect mo kundi KALOKOHAN! HAHAHA! And there was the cutting classes padin. IM A BAD STUDENT noh? HAHA. Mayet went home to her province at this time. :( All of the time si Sarah ang kasama ko, and our other friend, Jermaine. Nasa ibang section si Maricho e. :( Namaaan! Sobrang enjoy din ng year na to! Love is in the ayer! :) FOURTH YEAR HIGHSCHOOL. The joys of transferring schools! *insert sarcasm tone here*. Ayun nga, nag-transfer ako to another school. The reason why? Refer to my 25 random things about myself O ayan alam mo na? :) Nung una syempre sad. I left all my friends at my previous school. I even think I cant be friends with the girls at my new school. Of course they've been together for four years! And Im a bagong salta. Turns out Im wrong pala. They are all fun to be with. And I learned a LOT from them! They are all very different creatures than my bestfriends. They have no similarity at all! So it's like a whole new world for me. :) Everything's so different. But nevertheless, this year spells out F-U-N! :) I dont know what's in store for me in college. I barely knew the people from my class. I just hope that I will meet new friends, someone genuine and gets along well with me. :) So far, so great. (As it goes on the themesong of Sonny With A Chance.) XOXO. Love, Ehver. |
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But darling,
You are the only exception |
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