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And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love if it does NOT exist
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 Hear thee.
I'm sixteen, but definitely not sweet. Currently facing (and loathing) my freshman college life as an AB Broadcast Journalism student. I have a tendency to be lost in my imaginations and daydreams. I'm sarcastic. I cuss. I'm moody. I have my fair share of complexities - though I sometimes think I got too many. Likes: Books, Country and Punk Rock music, Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy, Red, 19th century era, Chace Crawford, Jacob Black, trivias, chocolates Dislikes: Slow and sentimental songs, Harry Potter, Bella Swan, predictable telenovelas here in the Philippines, Justin Bieber, Math, Any kind of sports, K-Pop I don't know what I want. So don't ask me coz I'm still trying to figure it out. Say What?
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Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Goodbye to you my trusted friend Comments: 1 comments | Leave a Comment
Dear Diary,I don't know if I should call this day as Doomsday. I mean, I should be happy right? But I can't really feel it. Our separation gave me mixed feelings - sadness and happiness. I've been with her for three years. I've been a witness to her mood-swings. I'm the only one who comforts her everytime she's down, and I'm always there to rejoice with her whenever she's happy. During the first year of us being together, I saw her holding me while she's wishing for her crush to text her. And I was there, praying with her. It was the happiest moment of my life. At last, I felt how being a friend means. During those times, I felt like I was her bestfriend. But that was before... I've been usually unhappy. Being kept in a storage cabinet is a big deal, you see. I loathed the four-cornered box I was kept in. I want to breathe. I'm sick of my life back then. Until a wide-eyed girl with eyeglasses gave me what I want. Freedom, at last. I first saw her with tears in her eyes. Apparently, the reason was her mother kept insisting to buy a cellphone somewhere else. And the wide-eyed kid wants me. How touching, right? I've seen those teary eyes turn bright when she touched me - for the first time. I don't know if she had seen me smile, but I definitely did. I'm grateful to her because she took my loneliness away. We shared a lot of happy and sad moments since then. She took a lot of pictures using me. Aaahhh you'll never know how it feels to have your owner smile back at you! She didn't let me look like a trash of course. She bought lots of cellphone holders for me. At that time, I felt like I was the most important thing in her life because she's always looking for me everytime she wakes up, or comes home. She never lets go of me everytime we're together. My first few years with her are very memorable. I'm always happy. Until it changed. I don't know how it all started. One day I woke up and realized she doesn't love me as much as she did before. She started noticing other cellphones - and boy! she wants them. I kept hearing her talking with her sister how she wants a better phone. Those who have 3megapixel cameras and 2GB memory. Of course I don't have features like that. And it hurt me. I want to be the best for her. But she already thinks I'm one of those "losers". She doesn't want me anymore. She doesn't take care of me. She removed the little trinkets she put on me. She started leaving me anywhere. And she let me fall on the floor for so many times. I can feel my body filling up with scratches and dents. And because of that, she hated me even more. Doesn't she know she's the reason why I'm not perfect anymore? Damn that bitch. Not only that, she left me with that stupid charger for hours. Doesn't she know it's bad for my battery? Time came when my battery gave up on her. It looked like it was bloated. And lasted for only a few minutes. She grew angry at me. She throws me everytime she feels frustrated because she's texting someone and I suddenly went dead. I cry even more. What happened to the wide-eyed girl who looked at me with adoration in her eyes? Where was she? Why did she left me with this monster who slowly kills me? Turns out I can't get her back anymore. This monster wants me out of her life. And so she bought another cellphone - the kind she's wishing for so long. I heard her talking to her Mom to find someone who's willing to buy me. This was the saddest moment of my life. I feel betrayed by a bestfriend. And so I'm here. With my new owner. I don't want to look at her eyes. It's not the same wide-eyed ones with eyeglasses. I miss Ehver. You'd think I'm stupid because I still miss her even after those things she did to me. Yes, I'm stupid. I'm still wishing for her to come back and get me. I miss those times when we were still together. Does she miss me too? I wish she does. After all, I'm her first cellphone, right? And I do believe that first love never dies. Yours Truly, Nokia 6020 Labels: blah blahs, dramas, love, rants, weird Sunday, November 1, 2009
The Greatest Man in my life turns a year older. :) Comments: 0 comments | Leave a Comment
Wanna know why Papa is the greatest man for me? - He's the one who encourages me to draw. He has become my inspiration to sketch a lot of pictures when I was a kid. - I can totally depend on him when it comes to school projects. Believe me, he has a lot of creativity when it comes to crafts. - He's great at cooking! :) Even his sinangag and egg tastes so good for me. - He knows how to do household chores. He is very far from being tamad. - I always find it touching when he calls me "bunso". Maybe it's the way he says it - in a very malambing way. - He never said any bad things to me. Nor did he ever scolded or spanked me. - I love watching cartoons, so was he. It was very cool being around him while watching cartoons because he will laugh with you. - He still kisses us goodbye whenever he's leaving for work. I don't think I will ever outgrow that. Hehe. But of course we never had the chance to do it now because he's in America. - He never forgets to go online every single day. He told us he won't be able to sleep if he did not talked to us. Aww. :) - He worries a LOT about our safety. - He is somewhat strict - in a very sweet way. - He is always reminding me to take/apply my medicine. - He carries me whenever I fall asleep at wrong places (sofas and vehicles). Hehe. :p - He sings Green Green Grass of Home to me when I was a kid for me to sleep. It's his favorite song! - He is a very patient guy. He's too willing to go around the mall just to accompany us in shopping. - After the loooooong time we (Me, Mama & Ate) spend at choosing clothes, he still finds a way to compliment whatever we bought, and carry it for us. Sweet. :) - He loves animals. - He knows a lot of trivias. - He won't say no if you ask him na subuan ka. :) - He always texts or checks on me whenever I'm out. And I'm telling you, his messages are the most caring ones! :) - He does not argue with Mama. But that doesn't mean he's not the decision-maker in the family. - He will do anything to make us happy and to fulfill our needs. - He is the gentlest and most caring guy I ever met. He is the first man I ever loved, and he will forever be.  Happy Birthday, Papa! I love and miss you so much! <3 P.S. Sorry for the not-so-great picture above. We haven't got any cute webcam pictures together. Hehe. :) Labels: family matters, love, papa's birthday Friday, October 23, 2009
And a Miley song was on. So I put my hands up. Comments: 1 comments | Leave a Comment
It's been a while since my last post therefore I'm back with a vengeance. Hahaha kiddin'. Sembreak just started and I've finally got nothing to do. Basically, I'm bored. I'm fucking bored. I seriously have a love-hate relationship with sembreaks. Sembreak means no allowance, the inevitable fact that I have to stay at home and bear NOT going out (except for church). And of course not meeting with my friends. Ugh. This is so not cool.Anyway, my sister and I had this dramatic talk last night. Well, I called it dramatic talk since she cried and I got teary-eyed. I won't mention why it all happened but it's some sort of parent-child matters. I hate talking about my problems because I always end up crying. Stupid emotions. I actually cried a few weeks ago while I was talking to my friend and it made me feel so.... weak and stupid and girly. I instantly regretted it because I hate the feeling of being consoled, of being pitied upon. Actually, I prefer keeping my problems to myself than sharing it to others. I just thought, what can they do about it? They will just listen to you but in the end it' ll just be ME with my problems. I know, I'm strange. I guess I'm a loner. That's what our Psychology analysis quiz told about me. I'm not emo or something but I just prefer being alone than being with someone and feel very obligated to talk to her/him. Unless she is someone I really wanted to talk to. I think I might survive with only Untalkative Bunny by my side. Hahaha. Or Ferb. I want to have another ear piercing. That is so cool. Uncool because my parents wouldn't allow me to have it. But who cares?! I'm gonna get it. After all, what can they do if it's on my ear already? Evil laugh. XD I also want to get a rebond. Honestly, my hair looked like some haybale in Farmville and I'm not very fond of it coz it just sucks. I want to have an easy-to-manage hair coz I'm too lazy to comb it from time to time. A rebonded hair would be so easy to deal with. And saves my time at the mirror. I hate to admit this but Miley Cyrus is getting sexier and hotter and sluttier as time goes by. Proof? Miley Cyrus - Party In The USA Music Video I still can't get her racy photos out of my head. Sorry. Those photos are still stored here in my computer. Again, sorry. But it's really funny looking at her trying hard to look hot. Hahaha. Sorry. At least now she's really hot. I can't believe she's just one year older than me. XD "There's a 104 days of Summer Vacation, And school comes along just to end it. So the annual problem for our generation, Is finding a good way to spend it." I think I will just go watch Phineas and Ferb. I miss Dr. Doofenschmirtz and Perry. Labels: blah blahs, dramas, rants, weird Saturday, September 19, 2009
Your Grace. My Lord. Comments: 0 comments | Leave a Comment
Something about me favors novels that depicts 19th century era. I don't know. There's a freakishly enticing stuff about that particular era that brings me to an entire hype of imagining the ladies being too proper and lady-like. The gentlemen being so commanding and powerful. The balls and parties everyone seems to attend to. The elegant clothes they wore. Everything seems so formal and magical. It's like transcending to a fairy-tale world where Dukes and Duchesses and Lords and Princesses (and arrange marriages, as well) existed. Which is probably the reason why I loved - no, worshipped :P - Judith McNaught's novel, Whitney, My Love. I SWEAR I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT! I cried. I laughed. I get giddy and kilig even more than effin Twilight did. It's a must-read novel. The kind wherein you thought it's going to be alright and then a complication starts and the happy ending just goes Poof! and then you will realize you're wrong and it turns out to be a happy ending after all. There's a lot of twists and turns and there are actually a lot of parts that you will hate the main characters but I figured out it adds spice to the story. It kept me at the edge of my seat, wondering if Whitney and Clayton would end up together. There are times I wanted to throw the book because Whitney is so hard-headed and Clayton being so ill-tempered and misunderstanding but a book causing you that much emotion is indeed a good book, right? It's not like any other book that couples meet and they fall in love and everything just becomes so boring after that. This novel will make you watch two people become acquaintances, enemies, then friends and eventually lovers. Okay, I admit Iam a sucker for romance novels. But all in all, the book is really great. What with the handsome duke with the intense gray eyes and a certain power and force around him, but a madman when it comes to love. Oh My. Books are so unfair! Why do they have to make you envision a perfect man? Dammit. But really, I've finally decided I'm gonna buy Judith McNaught's every existing book (Hehe.). And since Whitney, My Love is something I borrowed from a friend, I'm gonna buy that one too! And repeat it all over again once I have my own copy. :)Lo and Behold! (Hahahaha!) As I was watching MYX this evening and they suddenly showed Love Story by Taylor Swift (for the hundredth time), it dawned on me that somehow this music video reminds me of those 19th century novels that I've read. Their clothes and the ball shown in the video made me think about it. And the way Justin Gaston looking like some sort of prince, even if I don't like him. Well, I actually do like him a bit when he broke up with Miley "Disney Princess" Cyrus. Or so I thought. "I close my eyes and the flashback starts I'm standing there on the balcony of summer-air See the lights See the party, the ball gowns.." Labels: corny moments, love, reading sickness Sunday, September 13, 2009
Funny without even trying. Comments: 0 comments | Leave a Comment
Me: Bakit kaya kailangan pa ng pusa?Mama: Wala lang.. Para may ngumiyaw don. (Our conversation that just happened a while ago. Pertaining to a movie entitled Nasaan Ka Man.) You might not find this funny but I really really DO. Perhaps it's the way she said it - casual, uncaring, in a matter-of-fact tone. She's funny without even trying to be one. So I'm finally sure that I got most of her genes. Hahahaha. :) Labels: blah blahs, corny moments, weird Monday, September 7, 2009
We will miss you forever, Ka Erdie. Comments: 0 comments | Leave a Comment
 Eversince I was a child, it has been my dream to meet him, to hold his hand, to let him touch my head - I only see this scenarios through our Iglesia Ni Cristo television channel and through pictures at the Pasugo. I dreamed of attending church with him as the officiating minister. Never did it ever crossed my mind that I won't have a chance to fulfill these dreams anymore. It was Tuesday when we learned about his passing. I was very happy at school - laughing and talking to my friends and then I went home and received the sad news. It was a shock. I can't speak. I just stared at the television - witnessing my numerous INC members crying. It was all too hard to accept. It felt like someone dear and close to me passed away. The thought of him gone, the thought of not being able to see him again teaching the words of God at our churches - it is too hard. I was very determined to see him even for the last moment. And seeing him for the first time - and last - was overwhelming and sad at the same time. I did not realize I was crying, then. I just bowed my head and prayed to God to thank Him for giving Ka Erdie to us. I will be forever grateful to that. Eventhough I did not had the chance of holding his hand, his memory and caring for us will forever be in my heart. I did not mind how long I waited in line just to see him. I did not mind how hungry I became on that particular day. All I can ever think about was just to see him. Whatever we went through when we visited him can never surpass the amount of how he cared for us. "Our church is not Ka EraÑo Manalo's church. It is God's church." We will miss you forever Ka Erdie! Until we all meet again. Labels: dramas, Iglesia Ni Cristo, Ka EraÑo Manalo, love |
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But darling,
You are the only exception |
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